Tiger-eyed

How competitive can I get? Arturo wrote something in a comment to a previous post that left me thinking.

I've always tried to do things as good as possible. It often translates into trying really hard, whatever the cost might be. Most of the time it does not involve someone else but my own vision of whatever I should do. I should be able to do this up to this point. I challenge myself and everything else is pure coincidence.

I have to confess, I do enjoy every time I can show off how good of a driver I am. Not just by driving fast but by choosing the best route, the best trajectory, the route with less hassle and overtakings, the safest path in the road that I can find by foreseeing the behavior of everyone in front of me. And the behavior of the wheels below me, of course.

I was used to be the best one while at school. Everyone was used to and that led them to whisper that time in ninth grade when things went south for me once. I never received gifts related to my grades because they were usually good, so it made no sense (there was nothing to be encouraged). On the other hand, I was very competitive playing football in the recess, on a daily basis. I wanted to win every day of the week, hopefully after scoring the goal I dreamed of. And I fulfilled those dream-goals more often than not, I tell you that.

Sports is what brings out the competitive spirit, the comparison and the constant evaluation of my improvements and failures. It has been through sports that I've seen my own body improve and behave better of worse depending on whatever happens to me week-in week-out. I sit down and let myself go, recalling all the relevant situations of a game I just played, checking how and why did I do something in that particular way. Why did I miss that pass? How could I improve my jumping to get a better chance on aerial challenges? Did I get stronger lately or how can I explain the way I won that challenge by throwing away that poor lad? Am I running the right runs to block passes?

The other scenario where I vividly compete is gaming. I will swear like a sick pirate every time I play something against someone -or something-. Every missed chance, every kill I miss by a tenth of a second or a lag in the connection. A race I could have run better, with less mistakes on finding the apex in the turns. I will try my best to win every time, in every game. If you invite me to play something new, I will learn quick how to defeat you as soon as possible.

Maybe I just enjoy the uncertainty of the challenge. As a student and an engineer, challenges are somehow controlled (by the model I use to approach to them); in sports and games it's all about dexterity and to give you hell.