junio 22, 2007

Block

I was told to play a game. Looking carefully, there's no one I can ask to play, hence, there's no reason to talk about me. Thinking deeper, there's no reason to be known, listened, watched, trusted, heard or even respected by anyone. That's crystal clear.

I'm just another traveller looking out for another mask to put on, just as the old man said long ago. That's the way I know to keep the life at distance. Travelling without moving, like the CD... and the silence all around me. Yeah, I've been right, thus, I should believe me more often.

I've been down this road before: I'm with everyone, but at the end I'm not with them. Just some strings attatched to life,... and above it all, my precious values, the ideas I've been living for, giving it all away because I feel and think it's right.
After all, I'm not a guideline or a model of living properly. Just a traveller looking out for another mask to put on and feel ready to keep going among the people.

I've come to know many things about the world, life itself and the phenomena that use to happen around me. Sadly, that's not been enough for almost anyone, ever. Sadly, too, I don't live for anyone else but for myself. Maybe, that's why I'm not the one who respects everything and everyone around... or at least, maybe it looks like so. The traveller may be too focused on the steps to look around, sometimes.
But, wait a minute... now I remember that I always prefer to look around and take care of everyone than looking out for myself, and that's been usually a reason to be sad... while trying to choke the sadness in someone else. And the mask? Well, it covers smiles, wrinkles and tears pretty fine, so, it's useful when the person in front of me looks at my face waiting for something.

I don't know anyone any good. And it's fine. No one wants to be known; everyone usually choose to keep everything for themselves... the bad news is that YOU use to think that you really got to know someone good enough. And they say, you're close enough for real... wrong answer. There's where the mask becomes useful and keeps you away from most of them. It's a choice, a conscious choice of hiding and keeping yourself just as them, but even better.



Sadly, I dropped it away trying to feel the world. Luckily, I felt it in oh-so-many ways... I guess, it have been worthy enough. Even more sadly, people really didn't get to know me as good as I expected. Too simple... too complicated... who knows!
And the traveller have found it! A mask! a hideout!!... and, surprise, at the end the game comes to an end just because of what I told you at the beginning... there's no one I can ask to play... I hope that there're more than 8 things, so it equalizes the stuff.

Good night... bis bald!!

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